By Yassira Huarcaya
Autonomy has become one of the most valued goals in recent years. From special furniture designed at a child’s height to child-friendly kitchen tools, everything seems to invite little ones to do things on their own. And yes, the environment plays a key role when we talk about fostering independence. We can’t expect autonomy from a child who’s under a meter tall if what they need is placed two meters high.
But beyond creating an accessible space, what else does it mean to support a child’s journey toward autonomy? I’ll share what I think are the most important requirements for developing autonomy.
Patience. Not just from the children (our little Pumas), but especially from us as adults. Being patient means observing without rushing and being present with calm. Children feel our emotions, even when we try to hide them. If they sense that we’re in a hurry or feeling stressed, they may feel insecure or even give up trying. And let’s be honest, it’s not always easy. Daily life moves fast. Letting a child put on their own jacket may take ten minutes, while we could do it in two. But in those extra minutes, something powerful is happening: they’re learning.
Let them feel. As adults, we often want our children to be happy all the time. But true emotional strength comes from facing a range of feelings, even the uncomfortable ones. It’s okay if a child cries. It’s how they show frustration, sadness, or anger. These are important emotions. We can help by naming them, so they learn to recognize what they feel. We can stay close, so they learn to manage those feelings in a safe way. These early experiences help them build emotional tools for the future.
Real challenges. It’s important to find the right balance. We shouldn’t push children into situations that feel impossible for them: it only leads to panic or discouragement. As educator Francisco Zariquey reminded us in last Saturday’s workshop, the goal is not to throw them into their panic zone but to gently invite them out of their comfort zone. That’s where real learning happens. For example, we can encourage a Puma to follow the steps of handwashing (water, soap, rinse, dry) even if they don’t do it as quickly or as perfectly as an adult would.
Managing expectations. Our expectations need to match their age and abilities. Using that same example, maybe they do follow all the steps to wash their hands, but one sleeve gets a little wet, or there’s still some soap under a fingernail. That’s okay. What matters is that they’re learning and doing more each day. The finer details will come with time, sometimes slowly, sometimes suddenly.
Accepting our own challenges. Whether we’re moms, dads, grandparents, or caregivers, each of us will find certain things more difficult depending on our relationship with the child. It’s completely normal. For example, as a guide, what’s hardest for me is managing the expectations adults may have of what their Pumas can achieve, and worrying they could impact how I do my work. What doesn’t feel hard? Watching Pumas express big feelings like anger or sadness, because I know it’s part of their growth. However, as an aunt, I find it hard to see my niece feeling sad or frustrated, and I often feel a strong urge to fix whatever is causing her discomfort. It’s not easy to just watch… our instinct is to protect, to make it better.
As you can see, supporting autonomy is about much more than letting children “do things alone.” It’s a process full of learning, emotions, challenges, and love, one that we walk hand in hand with them, day by day.
But let’s give ourselves grace, we are bound to make mistakes. It's all part of the process. To balance things out, I invite you to celebrate progress as much —or more— than acknowledging what we can improve.
Here are some of the victories we have proudly celebrated this year so far with our Explorer Pumas:
Saying goodbye to mom or dad calmly
Hanging up their backpacks on low hooks
Pulling out their chair to sit for snack time
Washing their hands (with wet sleeves in the process!)
Putting away books (in their own unique order)
Spearing fruit with a fork at snack time
Wiping the table
Grabbing their diaper when it’s time for a change
Recognizing their backpack
Returning puzzles to their proper place
What steps towards greater autonomy has your child taken this year that should be acknowledged and celebrated?
